Sunday, September 2, 2012

* Chocolate Fresh Raspberry Pudding *

i am an outcast.  other fleas regard me with contempt and often refuse to even sense me with their antennae.  recently, while relaxing in the hairline of one of my humans, i bumped into a swarthy looking flea who gave me the stink eye... on my own human no less.  normally i would be a bit irate that he was poaching my victim, but as you know i have chosen to turn my back on my vampiric nature.  somehow, this beady-eyed interloper could tell that i was no longer in the blood game.  probably had something to do with the peanut butter and marshmallow that had dried in the spiny hairs on my belly.  i am a pariah.  i have shame.

becoming an omnivore has its ups and downs, like salmon vs beets.  salmon is great while beets are evidently some kind of punishment food.  for a flea the pursuit of blood is ingrained and natural.  i do admit that i've had moments of weakness in the past, where i would be sitting on my humans lip while they slept, watching their slow, rhythmic breathing and knowing that, as a creature of the night, i held their fate in my dangerously powerful forelegs.

all that is behind me now, as i've found chocolate.  simple as that.  blood out, chocolate in.  i know from observation that humans will do almost anything for it and often sneak it when others aren't looking.  i assumed it must possess magical qualities.  i was right.

please enjoy my human's recipe that i call simply the chocolate bath. 


~ 2/3  cup sugar
~ 2 Tbsp corn starch
~ 2 1/2 cup whole milk
~ 4 egg yolks
~ 2 tsp vanilla
~ 1 1/2 cup bittersweet chocolate chips
~ pint fresh raspberries

Combine everything except chocolate and raspberries in saucepan.  Heat on med high stirring constantly until mixture coats the back of a spoon.  Remove from heat and stir in chocolate until melted and gently fold in raspberries.

*see link parties above to view where this and other recipes are shared weekly~

Saturday, August 11, 2012

~Pineapple Habanero Red Pepper Grilled Salmon~

so i'm chilling in a hair hammock i strung up in the woman's ear when i catch wind of a trip to somewhere called costco.  now, being a somewhat sheltered flea and having limited access to human culture, i've never heard of this costco thingy.  apparently its some kind of gluten-free food fantasy land, where massive amounts of succulent dead, plucked and squeezed things can be acquired in massive quantities.  i'm in.

after a wild car ride filled with swerving, several near accidents and a shocking amount of cursing from the woman, we arrived at the great food nirvana called costco.  the sheer size of the building made my antennae quiver with anticipation.  had a close call when, without realizing it i had begun jumping all over the woman's head with nervous energy.  suddenly i found myself dodging the business end of a ball point pen, as she jabbed it repeatedly into her thick, helmet of hair.  one wouldn't think she would feel anything in that dense jungle of tangled follicles.  one would be wrong.  fortunately, she was distracted by a table full of hand crafted jewelry made by the indigenous peoples of some remote land where, sadly, costco did not yet exist.

costco was pure sensory overload.  i resisted all temptation and stayed with the host woman.  flea instinct distracted me at first - so many humans concentrated together.  but i'm not your usual flea, i'm on a mission from dog.  i decided that riding in her eyebrow would afford me the best view and, if i was quick and sly, access to her food.  they actually feed you while you walk around here.  my kind of place.  i learned quickly that she was picky about what she tried, but that she looked at everything.  a quick jump or two and i could be off the brow, on the chow, and back without attracting the attention of the stabbing device.

i share the following discovery with you - the most delectable and beguiling of sea meats.  salmon.  the woman purchased a large quantity of salmon corpses, brought them home and prepared them to my satisfaction in the following manner.


~1 large salmon fillet

~2 red peppers (cut into strips)
~1 large sweet onion (cut into strips)
~1/2 cup of below sauce (found at Costco)
~olive oil, salt, pepper
~jasmine rice

Rub salmon with a little olive oil.  Salt and pepper it.  Spray grill with non stick cooking spray (if you don't, you will leave half your fish behind)  Cook for 5 min, turn cook 2 min more.

Cook peppers, onions, and sauce together until vegetables are tender.  Top salmon with deliciousness and serve over rice~

Sunday, August 5, 2012

~GF Sugar Crusted Sour Cream Raisin Muffins~

so i found these babies on the counter tonight.  i burrowed deep into what must have been the most succulent raisin i've ever tasted.  although it was also the first raisin i've ever tasted or been inside of, it was still glorious.  i had to share my first discovery in my new kitchen.  it took a while to hack into her picture account, she takes pictures of all her gluten-less treats, so i knew i would find them if i was patient.  took a while though, only being able to land on one key at a time makes multiple key commands difficult.  impossible really.

anywho, i decided that i would get the most information on her cooking by riding around perched on her earlobe.  the trick is to stay still so she doesn't slap her ear or try and dig me out with something pointy.  i'm in this for the long haul, so i've got to play it cool.  she talks to herself a lot too.  probably what would be a scary amount for a human, it's hard for me to tell.  i'm still getting my sea legs regarding human culture.  for a flea it's natural to talk to ourselves because everyone is usually asleep while we are running around and feeding.  but then again, i'm not your normal flea.

found the human woman's recipe too.  i'm continually shocked and amazed by what you can find on a human's computer while they sleep.

1/2 cup olive oil
1 1/4 cup all purpose GF flour (King Arthur's is VERY GOOD) or use regular all purpose wheat flour if you want to go NON GF
1 1/2 tsp baking powder (Clabber Girl is GF)
1 cup sour cream
1/3 cup sugar (use turbinado sugar)
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla (McCormick's is GF)
1 cup raisins
TOP OF MUFFINS: bowl of turbinado sugar and small bowl of melted butter

Heat oven to 375.
Mix dry ingredients in bowl, set aside.  Mix sour cream, sugar, egg, and vanilla in bowl.  Gently fold in raisins and dry ingredients.  Spoon into greased muffin pan. Bake for 20 minutes.  When muffins are completely cool dip tops in butter, then in sugar.

*See 'Link Parties' above where this recipe was shared~